The other day, I heard news of a remake of the 1986 movie “Highlander.” Not only that, but it’s going to be written by Melissa Rosenberg, master adapter of the entire Twilight Saga. Needless to say, this is the greatest thing to ever happen to cinema. It’s a perfect marriage of remake (always a good idea), Highlander movie (ditto), and the amazing skill of someone who has captured the hearts and minds of an entire generation. I can tell you, both my heart organ and my mind organ are held hostage until I see this well thought-out cinematic adventure.
Believe you me, I’m making the movie in my head as we speak. Aren’t we all? Here’s my dream casting for the key people:
Connor MacLeod
This is a tough one. Christopher Lambert immortalized the role in 1986 (see what I did there? That’s a play on words. Go back and read it again. Pretty good). We need someone young, rugged, and able to handle himself in a fight. I have the perfect candidate: Jasper Hale, AKA Jackson Rathbone.
Connor MacLeod - 2012?
“The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” showed the world that Rathbone can do different accents and that he understands what a flashback is. “The Last Airbender” showcased his ability to grow long hair. And both of those movies are proof that his fighting abilities are second to none. He has the haunted eyes of an immortal, and he looks good no matter the colour of his hair. Although… we haven’t seen him as a ginger. Wouldn’t that be something?
Ginger Jasper
The Kurgan
A movie is only as good as its villain, which is why we need more than an actor. We need a force of nature.
You are TEARING ME APART, QUICKENING!
This one is a no-brainer. Is there anyone else who can be as threatening and as charming as Tommy Wiseau? We don’t know how old he is, and we don’t know where he’s from. Just like a real immortal.
As moved as I was by the character interaction in The Twilight Saga, I do think Wiseau should write his own dialogue. He is the only person alive who understands the shapes made by his mouth.
Ramirez
Yesh. I'm from Shpain.
Who could take the place of Sean Connery as Ramirez? For the last decade or so, the “Sean Connery” role in movies has been played by Liam Neeson, but I don’t think Neeson has the magical quality that gave Ramirez his charm. For that, we have to look at where Connery was as an actor in the mid-1980s. Here we had a man in his 50s at the nadir of his stardom. And let’s not forget his strategy for arguing with women:
Is there anyone who fits that description in 2011? Yes. Yes there is.
A year after Connery did the original “Highlander,” he won an Oscar for “The Untouchables.” Perhaps this could be a stepping stone for Gibson’s comeback.
The best thing about Mel Gibson is his gift for comedy. I don’t know about you, but one of the biggest laughs I’ve ever had was the end of “Braveheart.” It was amazing how he gave a three hour movie a punch line like that. Well done, sir.
The Music
There is only one band in the last 20 years who has matched the operatic intensity of Queen. I really think this could be Creed’s moment. Are they still together? Where can I find that information?
The Director
Once again, I can only think of one name: M. Night Shyamalan.
Think how glorious that would be! A director of Shyamalan’s skill would add a sense of mystery to the duels. He’s a master at putting the camera in the general vicinity of movement. He’s the Tyrannosaurus Rex of directors, and that just what this movie needs. He can film a fight scene and make it look like nothing you’ve ever seen. Especially if you’re familiar with things like fight scenes. Remember that great, sweeping shot of MacLeod and The Kurgan fighting in the warehouse? Shyamalan could do the same thing, and he’d only have to use the top right corner of the screen. That’s just how good he is. I don’t want to spoil the second film for anyone, but there is a fantastic built-in twist for Shyamalan to throw in at the last second: Zeist.
And do I even have to mention that “Highlander” is the reason 3D was invented by James Cameron in 2009? I didn’t think so.
I really hope someone in Hollywood uses these suggestions so we can have the greatest film of all time ever. Let’s applaud the movie industry for their forward thinking on a Highlander remake. It’s proof that there doesn’t have to be “only one.”
It's a kind of Magic.
