1. Have a good idea.
2. Start work on the idea with the energetic enthusiasm of a hyperactive child. This is going to be THE ONE!
3. Mild panic as a blank screen floats up into view like the vengeful ghost of a family member I murdered for their inheritance.
4. Check Social Media sites.
5. Reply to a famous person’s amusing tweet.
6. Tweet either something I overheard or a geeky pop culture reference combined with a horrible pun.
7. Refresh Twitter feed to see if the famous person replied or RT’ed me. Nope.
8. Oh, yeah! G+! I keep forgetting to check that.
9. Look at the blank page. dribble a couple of sentences from my fingers.
10. Text girlfriend.
11.Refresh Twitter to see if anyone noticed my HLARIOUS pun. Nope.
12. Feel guilty about having the idea in the first place because I’ve decided that I don’t have the talent or discipline to pull it off.
13. Check Facebook. Scroll, scroll, hide user, scroll, block app, block app, hide user, decline invite, decline group, scroll, read stuff that people crossposted to Twitter, wonder why I bother with Facebook at all.
14. Shake it off.
15. Order more coffee. Steel myself for some serious fucking work.
16. This is it. I’m going to HEY! I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN AGES! HAVE A SEAT!
17. Okay, now it’s time to work. Right after this pee break.
18. Refresh Twitter. Maybe make another pun.
19. Throw some angry words down on paper, typing so hard I may just shatter the keyboard.
20. Get phone call. Wrong number.
21. Refresh Twitter. More puns.
22. Become overwhelmed by feelings of self-loathing and inadequacy, giving up on this terrible idea.
23. Wonder why all of the choices in my life led to me sitting here, hating my brain.
24. Have a good idea. Go to Step 2.
